Do you want to Improve Every Relationship in Your Life

How much do you value the relationships you have with people?

How do you nurture your relationships?

Relationships aren’t always easy, they take work. It’s fascinating that sometimes the people that we love the most are often the people we get the most angry at or have the most arguments with.

Our minds are powerful tools and we learn to have great relationships when we learn that what we think about that person is the relationship that we have with them.

Our relationship with someone is whatever we think about that person, that’s why you can feel like you really like someone without even meeting them. Do you have a favorite author, podcaster, movie star, singer? you don’t know these people but you love their work and you love what you know of them and you kind of create a relationship with them in your mind. Can you think of a time when your opinion changed about one of these people that you really liked because you learned something new about them?

This has happened to me, here is an example………

I loved “Little House on the Prairie” and “Highway to Heaven” and pretty much every show that Michael Landon was in. I loved the values that he portrayed and the person that he was in his acting, I just loved and adored him. Then I was so sad and upset when I learned that his personal life was very different from his shows, My relationship with him was not of admiration anymore but I was actually angry and disappointed with him. All of this was created with my thoughts. Now I just choose to think he was a human being just trying to figure his life out just like we all are.

We can improve the relationships we have with others by nurturing thoughts that can create the relationship we want. This does not mean that we can change the person because of how we think of them but we can change our experience and perception of them.

For instance, If we are thinking that our husband is selfish and inconsiderate when he chooses to work instead of coming to the family function, then our brain goes to work finding evidence that it is true, then we might feel unloved, bitter, neglected, angry, irritated etc. If we are thinking that our husband is sacrificing for and loving our family because he’s willing to give up time with the family and go to work in order to make sure our needs are met then our brains go to work finding evidence for that and we will often feel love, admiration and endearment toward him.

I’m not saying there is a right or wrong way to think, I’m just showing you that you have choices in what to think and from each thought comes an emotion and from that emotion you will take actions that can create more love and feelings of connection in your relationships or more disconnection or dissatisfaction in your relationships.

The good news is it’s all up to you and the bad news is that it’s all up to you. You have all the power.